Friday, June 28, 2013

The 2nd child syndrome

Being the 2nd child is always a plus. The 1st child has to invariably take the brunt of all fist fights, punches, pinches, verbal yelling or meaningless arguments. I was the 2nd of 2 girls, so I know what it means or feels like. And I can see the same sort of events replaying before my eyes with my 2 daughters.

My sister and I were just a year apart, and our growing up years had all the sibling rivalry common among siblings (esp. sisters). We were the best of friends obviously, but when it came to fighting with each other, we left no skin un-pinched (I pinched) or un-punched (my sis punched). The scars that remained fetched us our rewards (the goods from our parents, what else!), but I always managed to escape putting on the "sorry" face and the sheepish grin :) My sis on the other hand would not budge and would also put on a challenge, showing no remorse whatsoever, rather expressionless.

Ditto, with my daughters.

My elder daughter is all of 10, but I'm amazed at how she can get angry, stubborn, lazy, disobedient and rebellious. She's more innocent than my li'l one, but her temperamental nature and mood swings (especially when I ask her to keep her room tidy, study, practise keyboard, take responsibility...) get to me. With horns on my head, steam from my ears, and fire coming out my mouth, I go on my lecture-giving spree, which must most probably be going right through her ears, because after that momentary guilt, she's back to being herself!

My younger daughter, just 4 years, but behaves like the elder sis, bossing around and getting her way around home. She's the little baby at home, wanting all the attention and making sure she gets it. She's the typical "naatak company" / "drama queen" or what have you. But totally adorable. She accepts her mistakes, feels guilty and is quick to say "sorry, I won't repeat it again" with that "sorry" face I'm master of. How can you not forgive her! And she's still little, you think.

So there...1st daughter, like it or not, looks like you're the one destined to be at the receiving end, just like my sis was, back then! Don't you worry...this phase too will pass. And then you two will be the best of friends :) And you will grow up to be one responsible sister, no doubt!


BK Chowla, said...

When the first child comes home,both the parents reach divine heights of love and excitement.First one is most pampered till comes the second one.That is when the first one gets a silly feeling,which is very normal and natural.

Rama Ananth said...

It is so true. I can totally relate to this feeling.Being the youngest,my parents were more partial towards me, and my two elder sisters would always complain. Although we have outgrown it now, still sometimes they would complain, that I was their favorite.

BK Chowla, said...

When the first child ones home,parents give the maximum they can,be it comfort,love,togetherness and whatever..
It is actually when the second child comes,all that,naturally gets divided.The first one always feel his/ her space has been usurped..
Over a period of time,two become best of friends...
It is vey normal

Smita said...

Loved this piece!! Captures the essence of sisterhood/ siblinghood so well...we fight we beat eachotehr but at the end of the day we stick together.

Rachna said...

Absolutely true! I was the second of three kids. I wasn't really all that pampered but loved having an elder and a younger sibling. My younger brother and I fought like cats and dogs!