Saturday, February 19, 2011

Parenting woes

Finally, got down to writing some of the parenting woes I promised I would. Things I would fret about, but not really worry about (lest I frighten aspiring or to-be parents), but they are 'woes' nonetheless…phew!
  1. Well….one of the main reasons I’m so irregular on blogosphere. My 2 year old doesn’t let me sit on the computer/laptop when she’s awake, she doesn’t sleep when I’m awake and yes she wakes up early in the morning. Now I’m left with the choice of, blogging at work during breaks (with work being hectic, that’s out of question) or blogging in the middle of the night (but once I hit the bed I’m knocked out, coz I sleep like a log! The only 'thing' that can wake me up is my 2 year old!!). There! Now I have a pretty excuse :)
  2. Once you are a parent, you can forget about yourself. Life is then all about your kids. Everything you do, say or think has a direct bearing on how your kids will be. Responsibilities and expectations are huge. All that weighing on the head and shoulders, it's hard to keep your head over your shoulders! No kidding!!
  3. You will always be judged ‘good’, ‘bad’ or ‘ugly’ by how your kids behave and/or how you behave with the kids. If your kids are naughty and you just let them be, your well-meaning neighbours, relatives or friends will look you up and down, as if to say “if I were you I would have whacked the kid”, and if you chide them, they’ll tchh, tchh…as if to say “Poor kids, mean parents!” Not that I care what others think of me, but I sure will want to have a positive influence on my kids’ lives.
  4. Go out shopping, and kids go berserk - they want anything and everything. It doesn’t matter how hard you try to roll your eyes. My little one sits on the trolley, picks up whatever item she can reach and fills up the cart in no time. Once, my elder one managed to break a jam bottle at the supermarket in her excitement and it was so embarrassing I haven’t had the courage to take her along to a store after that. You can’t try on clothes, because they want to enter the trial room along with you. Can’t dare go near a shoe shop, because the li’l one goes crazy when she sees shoes. She tries on every single pair and doesn’t want to leave the store even if you’re done with your shopping. Shopping is a nightmare with kids on the loose!
  5. You can’t go out for movies, because most movies these days are not good for kids and you can’t leave them behind can you?! You can’t even watch TV peacefully, for fear of corrupting their young minds!
  6. Go to a restaurant and they act like they’ve never seen food before. The other day when we dined at a fancy restaurant, the li’l one was eagerly waiting for food to arrive and every time she saw the waiter she was jumping out of her seat, “where’s my soup, where’s my soup!” Once, she managed to break a glass (so embarrassing I tell you!). Most times, she manages to drop her spoon, fork or knife on the floor and then quickly grabs mine. She clinks at the plate so hard, I worry if the plate would just crack. My appetite usually vanishes by the time food arrives, with the tension of damage control!
  7. You’re always late just about everywhere, because you have to DRESS UP your kids and drag them along whether they like it or not, because you can’t leave them alone at home. And then again you get these looks as if to ask “why is their hair so shabby” (the hair bands, hair clips or whatever you use to tame their hair would be in their hand, my bag or gone for good!) or “don’t they have any other clothes” (they’re seen wearing their same old “favourite” outfit till they can wear it no more!). And hey, just to answer the question: they decide what to wear, not me!
  8. 2 year old or 8 year old, you can’t raise your voice even a little to chide them for something they might have done wrong. They get “ANGRY”. My 8 year old is a sweetheart until you tell her to take her books and study. She gets angry, she makes a big fuss, she feels sleepy, or her head (or was it her tummy?) hurts and such lame excuses ('natak company' I call them!). You can’t tell her to eat quickly. She takes half an hour for breakfast (2 idlis, or quarter part of puttu, or 1 chappatti, or 1 appam….), 45 min to 1 hour for dinner (a measly meal at that!). The 2 year old is adorable, huggable, lovable and all that, but you’ll be surprised what she does when she gets angry! She pinches and punches. She throws her tantrums, goes to another room and stays there till you coax, cajole and sweet talk her. And what not! PHEW, she's little, but she can get you on your knees!!
  9. They don’t take “NO” for an answer, but anytime you tell them to do anything, pat comes the reply “NO”!
  10. Keeping the siblings apart is a task in itself! They’ll be playing and laughing one moment, and the very next minute fighting and crying. Aargghhhhh! But then I remember, I was once a little girl too, pinching my sister and getting punched in return! So there, I forgive them :)

You want them to be the perfect children. You want to be the perfect parent. But I guess, it doesn't work that way. It’s all these imperfections that make us who we are and you love them even more because of what they are. So even as I may crib often about my chores and woes as a parent, I’m loving every moment of it. Thank you kids for being part of my life. You guys mean the world to me :)

29 comments:

Tomz said...

Becoming a parent is difficult rite.. and at the same time the woes give you joy, rite?
nice picture, thanks fr sharing ..they are cute kids..

rama said...

You have said everything exactly as it happens in every household. Kids are so adorable yet they can really make life hell. You wonder when they would grow up, but when they do they have another kind of nakaras and nataks, and you hope they will become alright once they reach college, and even then the problem continues. One can only hope for a total break from them once they are finally married or have moved off to some far off place.
Now I am finally free of both my children. They are also happy and I am also happy.
I enjoyed reading it and reliving the trauma of bringing up children through your blog. I can also understand why you can't blog regularly.

Shilpa Garg said...

Share the same sentiments EXACTLY.... And 2,3,4,5,6 and 8 are just the same here too!! :)
While the kids are capable of getting on your nerves, embarrass you, frustrate you... but their lil smile, a loving hug and cheerfulness changes all that in split of a sec!:))

Rachna said...

Amen. Written beautifully and feels like I wrote it. You captured my cribs and my gratitude at being a parent perfectly!

Emmy said...

heh heh heh I do not have kids... but just a few years ago i was also a kid.. infact i still am lol but I love this blog.. u wrote about how parenting really is!!

A New Beginning said...

parents are a pricious gem for sure :) they take everything and give unconditional love in return...

sm said...

to get something have to give something

Aleta said...

God bless parents! You kept this real and I enjoyed the post.

... and I'm kind of happy to have a cat :)

Nona said...

:) It is difficult to balance parenting, blogging and working.

Chandrika Shubham said...

Cute pic. :)
I agree with u on point no.2.

You can’t try on clothes, because they want to enter the trial room along with you. :D

I enjoyed reading this post. :)

Farila said...

I feel I have blessed by two angels LOL.. You have sort of exaggerated parenting there RGB.

OnlineParentingClass said...

I love your post, you must've had hard times on parenting your kids still you were able to manage it. You still got a long way to go, and with how you deal with the situations you'll be able to guide them well.

Online Parenting Class

walk2write said...

I wish my mom had kept a journal like yours. Maybe I would have not been such a brat and appreciated her efforts more. No, probably not, but it was a good thought:)

Just keep on keepin' on with that wonderful family of yours. You'll reap plenty of rewards along the way. Great post!

Destiny's child... said...

It does sound a bit scary. But I guess when you are 'actually' there it doesn't seem much of an ordeal. Once, my sister broke a jam bottle at a supermarket and since there was no helper around, the man at the cash counter (possibly the owner)did the cleaning job. My parents took turns at turning all shades of red and I was dancing around, looking like I would drop something off the shelf any moment. Oh yes, we have given our parents headaches too...
Totally enjoyed reading it :)

meerasrajan said...

Enjoyed reading about your experiences as a parent.. Yeah parenting has its joys and problems at every stage. When I was the mother of a two year old I used to look with envy at mothers of kids in primary school and then when my daughter got to primary school I used to think that teenage would be easier to handle but now that she is a teenager I am wondering.. that maybe those earlier days were easier?

Alka Gurha said...

Enjoy this blissful period for I miss it...am facing an empty nest...

Insignia said...

Awww however they are still your little darlings isnt it? :)
Enjoy these moments :)

Ellen said...

All mothers can surely relate with that, RGB. :-) Yeah, I've had my share of their growing up years. But they are my treasures. Life is nothing without them.

Love this piece. Love the way you wrote it. Take care and God bless.

Meena said...

OMG!! Its like you pulled a page out of my life and put it up there... this is exactly what i go through - especially point no. 10!! I have a 7 yr old daughter and a 3 year old son - absolute mayhem! I've written something on the same lines here:

http://lafemmenirvana.blogspot.com/2010/12/decade-of-living.html

Linhy said...

Interesting blog and thoughts you got going on there!! Check out my blog sometimes when you get a chance. If you like my writing and what’s on there become my follower!
http://lifemadness-linhy.blogspot.com

Smita said...

Hi :)

Came here thru ur comment in my blog!! Thanks for your wishes :)

While reading this post of yours I was nodding half the time & scared as well :D Am bracing up myself for thr future and with the way my l'lle one is behaving these days, we are up for tough times :)

Bikramjit said...

How did i miss this post and that too more than a month old . sorry about that ...

Aww bless her well she is right she needs mommy time all the time now ..
and yes kids are a big responsibilty as they look upon us all the time ..
and true parents are judged first from the behaviour of the kids so very true .. I bet my dad got that a lot.. No wonder he was angry at me all the time :)

My sister had come from australia with kids though i loved having them i refused to take them for shopping after a couple of time , I found it embarassing sometimes :) and same with restaurant tooo but i gues they are kids thats what they do, this is there age to do such things .. :)

All the best RGB with the kids and I am surre they will turn out to be lovely human beings as there Parents are .. god bless

Bikram's

R. Ramesh said...

Hi..sorry I was away from blog for long..thanks for staying connected..am happy to have good blog friends like you..keep the cheers n best wishes always

Shruthi said...

WOW parenting is tough right. but I guess thats what makes it so exciting, isnt it?. I'm just guessing :p
and oh your kids are adorable :)
I have a niece who is a year old and she is already quite a handful. I think I'll make my sister read your post and ask her to appreciate the little break she gets when my niece sleeps between 12am and 4am.

Haddock said...

Once you are a parent, you can forget about yourself. Life is then all about your kids...... ha ha so true.
Enjoyed reading this.

R. Ramesh said...

Becoming a parent is difficult rite...and this tomz is saying..hehe he himself is a college teen:)

DegeSMS said...

it is very interesting blog.

~G said...

What's up girl. Long time since I've come here and looks like it has been ages since u posted. Think of you whenever I think of Kochi btw. :)
See ya around.

Tara said...

Well mritten.. Its actually a blessing the parenthood ! Good wishes !